A Memoir by Lisa Vaughn


Lisa was conservatively raised in a Catholic family in no-where middle America, where excitement is scarce and dreams are for sleeping. Little did she know, at age thirteen, she would suddenly find herself on a totally different path.

Through an unlikely chance meeting of a fellow classmate, she's surprisingly mesmerized, almost consumed, to befriend a girl who is obviously from the other side of the tracks...the cool side. Lisa does whatever she has to just to be accepted into this small club of coolness. Little did she realize, she was signing up for a lot more than social status. The two best friends find themselves innocently taking their relationship to a foreign level neither had experienced or saw coming.

A rollercoaster ride littered with choices and challenges Lisa never fathomed facing, especially in no-where middle America. She will find out what she is made of as she faces the consequences and struggles that come along with going against the grain.

Throughout their six year relationship, you will witness a touching story of human nature at its best...and at its worst. Showing just how far the human spirit can be challenged and pushed to a point where your “fight or flight” instincts naturally kick in. Struggling just to survive in a world where you are not like everyone else, but at the same time you really are. The daily struggles - both internal and external - are exhausting, yet necessary in their quest for one simple human need....love.

Finally breaking through all constraints that hold them back, reaching levels of one-ness that few actually obtain in a lifetime with their partner...only to find once they've reached that special place, it's not quite the right fit...for one of them, at least.

This contemporary story, told in the voice of the teen that lived it, will lead the reader through highs and lows, giving insight to the everyday challenges of the socially unaccepted, which will no doubt leave them rooting for the underdog. A true story of human resilience and the power of love...plain and simple.

*Please be advised, this memoir is real, honest, and raw. If you're looking for your typical 'sterilized' read, I'm not your girl - but if you're looking for a read that is written from the heart, certain to impact you on a human level, follow me! Have I got a story for you!

Monday, October 17, 2011

MondayMindset Of A Hippie-Chick: Life In Your Forties-The Decadent Years?

Turning forty.  I'll admit it...I dreaded it with every fiber of my being.  I remember when my mom was in her forties...and she was, well OLD!  As I approached this milestone birthday, I just couldn't imagine being anything but 30-something, as it truly seemed as if I'd been in my thirties forever. In fact a lifetime within itself seemed to happen in that decade. 
Let me briefly recap: My 30's
*Settled down to a more 'responsible' way of living
*Landed adult jobs that paid adult money
*Marriage ticked along on auto-pilot
*Son became old enough to fend for himself
*Moved 1000 miles away from my hometown to a place I actually wanted to reside
*Body was young and strong - no physical limitations
*Guys gave me the once-over when I passed by
Then...
*Divorce
*Started over...AGAIN
*Dated...AGAIN
*Got married...AGAIN

By the time my 40th rolled around I feared my life was done, and truthfully so was I. I had had it! Fed up...done. Done with the rat race, done with life's demands, done with society. Done-Done-DONE! A period we now affectionately refer to as my 'Breakdown at Forty'. I personally refer to it as my 'Push-Back Stage'. 

After I escaped for a week of self-pity, I eventually realized this might not be a bad decade after all, and I now anxiously tell anyone about to enter their forties to be prepared, as something magical happens on that landmark birthday, at least for women I think. 

The biggest 'light-bulb' moment was when I finally realized, 'Hey, I'm an ADULT. I do not HAVE to DO anything if I CHOOSE not to. It's okay to say NO. Such a simple word, but so hard to say...and pull off...when you're in your thirties, that is. But I was now a more mature, more feisty forty - it was high time I 'pushed back'. And boy, did I! 

Lets recap again: My 40's
First off, realized I was NOT my mother, so I....
*Quit my 'responsible' unfulfilling cubicle job with a steady paycheck 
*Took a leap and started a pet-sitting business
*Cut ties with people that did not make me feel good about myself
*Learned to say NO to things that did not fulfill me 
*Stopped feeling obligated to be the 'go-to-good-girl' 
*Started living my life on MY terms...period.
*Dove back into my art with a vengeance, creating pieces just for ME
*Wrote and published a memoir! Something I never saw coming! (See synopsis above)
Basically, I finally listened to my true, authentic self. 

Whew! What a relief! It took some time to get used to, but I quickly learned the key to happiness is actually very simple. By simply being true to your authentic self and living an authentic life - surrounded only by things you believe in and stand for (and saying 'No' to things you do not) you will be amazed at how awesome your forties can be! Things that I loathed - wasting my time, self-indulging greed from others, handed down beliefs, family encouraged obligations - all got the 'push back' from me.  
I'm now 48, and happy to report this has actually been my BEST decade to date, although there were some lows - like burying both my parents - I didn't like that part, of course, but I accept it as part of the life cycle - something we will all go through if the cycle remains in chronological order, as it should.
And thanks to my 48 years of experiences (the good, bad, and ugly) I now know myself better than I ever have, and have the confidence to be my best advocate...on my terms, standing on my own two feet. No matter what the world throws at me, I know I will be okay.

And now, looking back, I remember a younger me thinking I'd never live to see 30, as that sounded SO old! Luckily I have taken pretty good care of myself over the years - even better so now - and I'm still in good physical health.  Sure, I feel some signs of wear and tear, and definitely notice an older version staring back in the mirror...but that's okay, I accept that too.  I've earned every wrinkle and every greying hair - besides, I know I'm still cool inside, where it counts the most!(ha)  I know my attitude, and my 25 year-old son, keeps me young and up-to-date with the tunes, trends, and techy stuff, so I'm confident I can keep up as I ebb-and-flow along in this ever changing, evolving world I live in now.

And today, as I teeter on the brink of the next decade, I surprise myself as I type this, realizing I can hardly wait to see what the 'Decade of 50' brings!  Sure, I'll slow down a tad, get a few more grey hairs, add a couple more wrinkles, and deal with the 'M' word (Menopause-EEEKKK) but I know one thing for sure...it will be full of surprises and it's sure to be AMAZING!  Bring it on baby...this hippie-chick is ready! 

What has each decade taught you? Share your light bulb moments below! 

5 comments:

  1. I don't think I've seen a more positive attitude to growing mature than yours. I'm in my 40's and way too preoccupied by the things that don't matter. I need to take a step back, re-evaluate and get moving again. Glad I stopped in to read this and by the way, your pic looks nothing like 48. :)

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  2. Ah, we're the same age today. :) I've been liking the 40's.

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  3. Happy birthday! The main thing is to live your life to the fullest no matter what age, which is what you seem to do. I'm three years older than you and I can tell you the water is just fine over here! ;-)

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  4. Wow. Sounds like a very eventful journey.

    I have a long way more to go.

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  5. Wow!! You were lucky to make that change in your 40's. It only just recently happened for me and I'm facing double nickels this coming February. It's all good though sometimes I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do!

    Brava my friend!! This is a post I will come back to if I ever feel myself slipping back into that old place!

    Thank you!!

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